Tracey’s Triangle: Whistler's Mother

There are a great majority of us who have the capability to whistle.
Of those, there is a good chunk that use this talent on a frequent basis.
That chunk is split into two categories -
Group A- is a small group that whistle little tunes of their own creation, the “whistle while you work” type. >Group A are annoying for one reason - they do it alllll the time, but other than that, basically harmless.
Group B- is a much larger group of the whistler community that whistle known songs or along with the radio.

Group B can be split even further.
Part 1 consists of a small portion of people - we’re talking the one in a million, 1%ers who are good. I mean really good: On key, different notes, high, low, follow a tune, others can recognize what they’re doing.  

And then there is Part 2. (we’re talking the majority of the pie, people) These are Bucket People as in “can’t carry a tune in”.
=> note this is no way related to singing. I know people who can sing very well but can’t whistle and vice versa.

These are the people drive me crazy. Not only do they do it frequently but usually the whistle reaches that nails-on-a-chalkboard pitch where my ears start to bleed.  
I think what get’s me the most is that they’re just like the American Idol Rejects- they truly don’t know their bad. Can you really tell me that that one off pitch woot woot woot monotone note actually sounds anything like Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. ???
You poor soul are a Whistler only a mother could love.
SO SHUT IT

There’s a right side, a wrong side, and my side

Convo Convoy - Auditory Octaves VS Arachnid Admeasurement

Tracey – Don’t look up, okay?
Danni – Scoots up to the edge of her seat on the couch and in the voice you may give to animals Why, is it a spider?
Tracey – ...
Danni – inches further, teeth clenched, voice higher pitched  Is it a big spider?
Tracey –  …
Danni – pitch ever higher Is it a really big spider?! now on her feet not daring to look up
Tracey – …
Danni – voice the highest yet Is it a really really big spider?!?! in the other corner of the living room
Tracey – …
Danni – looks. normal voice,  AHHhhhh It’s a spider!

Tracey’s Triangle - TV Snow

There is nothing creepier than snow on an old television.
Other than perhaps the sound that accompanies it.

It’s like a corner but with a T.

Convo Convoy: Treasure Trolls

Mon, Jul 25, 2011 at 11:05 AM
FROM: O DanniGirl
TO: traceYevidence
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: Cable Options

Okay Here is what I could find out. All of these pricing are based on no HBO, no DVR, only cable TV in the living room and the inclusion of security for our computers.

[edited out all the boring numbers and bundles of the top two cable companies]

What do you think? I am going to call both places today and see what their installation/start up fees are.

-Danni

Mon, Jul 25, 2011 at 11:59 AM
FROM: ThirdRoommate
TO: traceYevidence, O DanniGirl
Subject: Re: Cable Options

Wow - I have good timing: I haven't checked this e-mail in over a week and I look on it within an hour of you sending this!

To be honest, my vote would be for Cable Option 1 deal.  Cable Option 2 seems very fluid with their pricing, and Option 1 has a two-year contract, meaning they won't play merry-hob with our payments. (We have Option 2 at the apartment I'm in now and they stay pretty steady) On the other hand, I wouldn't do anything without a quote on installation (it would really depend on how the place is wired already and all that jazz.)  If it turns out that Option 2 is the better option because it's already being used at the place, I'd vote for the cheaper one.

Mon, Jul 25, 2011 at 3:55 PM
FROM: traceYevidence
TO: ThirdRoommate, O DanniGirl
Subject: Re: Cable Options

Merry-hob ? Really?
That sounds like the name of a Treasure Troll. That is your new nick name. Merry-hob Pilcro.
Danni, your's is Cap-a-pie Gubbins

I think I have a modem, is that the thing that you get wireless with?? the infamous blackbox?
Cheap is good. I never considered the installation price, so if that makes things easier with Option 2...

ps a little upset that the lady hasn't gotten back to us about moving in on the 31st. I mean, even if the answer is no, she could have just said that.

Love,

Hubbub Taradiddle

Mon, Jul 25, 2011 at 4:13 PM
FROM: ThirdRoommate
TO: traceYevidence, O DanniGirl
Subject: Re: Cable Options

Danni's nickname sounds like a sorority.

Danni’s Doorstep: On/Off

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Being a child of the 90’s, I grew up with minimal “technology” in my earlier years. Phones had cords, Super Nintendo was new, Beanie Babies and boy bands were the only things worth caring about.

As I grew up and advances in technology were made, I just like many in my generation, learned to adapt. It appears as though we were the only ones alive in the 90’s that thought to adapt.

There have been so many times when I’ve had to explain if the iPod is charging, why the extension cord isn’t powering anything and why the attachable keyboard for the iPad isn’t working. It amazes me that in 80% of these situations the solution isn’t that we need to refigure the data chip to ensure that everything is properly syncing or to preform a complete scan for all malicious files, but that it’s simply…Did you try turning it on?

I was talking to a co-worker who used to work in the IT department and she said it was amazing as to how many times turning the computer off and on again solved the problem. It’s almost as if today, the roles have reversed. Children have all of the answers and the adults are the befuddled toddlers.

A word of advice to any “technologically illiterate” person from a great British TV show called the IT crowd.

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…Do you smell what I’m steppin’ in?

Convo Convoy: Finding our Apartment

NOTE: So this convo isn't necessarily funny but I thought it was so bizarre how we found our apartment I had to include it. Basically our apartment broker guy felt bad that the place he found fell through and just happen to notice this apartment driving by. He actually made no money doing this he just thought it would be a good fit. Nice people are awesome.

Wed, Jun 22, 2011 at 12:11 PM
FROM: John Doe
TO: O DanniGirl
FWD: traceYevidence, Third Roommate
Subject: Apartment 6

Danni,

I got a call from the owner and they have decided to rent to another applicant.  Sorry.  She is mailing back the checks to me here at the office.
Please give me a call here in the office xxx-xxx-xxxx.  I am here all afternoon I have some ideas on some other places.

Regards,
John

John Doe
Sales Professional
Something Something Properties
Main Street
Outside of Boston, MA XXXXX

Mon, Jun 27, 2011 at 12:17 PM
FROM: O DanniGirl
TO: traceYevidence
CC: Third Roommate
Subject: Apartment 7


This is the place that the broker that I was talking to saw on his drive into the office. I called because it was in our price range. The lady was really nice and went through the trouble of putting pictures up on her craigslist listing. I drove by and it didn't look great but then she emailed me and asking if I wanted to look, so since she went to such trouble I said yes. I went today expecting a run down crappy place, but it was actually really nice. There is a lot of space for parking the rooms are really big and it was in good condition. Plus it's really close to everything in Outside of Boston, MA.

It's $xxxx without utilities. It's gas heat, in most of the house (one room is electric), I'm gonna call nstar on Monday and see what the bills are and she also offered to show the house again when Tracey is available. She seemed really nice and really reasonable when it comes to the money that's due upfront. It is available August 1. This woman is really the first person who seemed eager for me to fill out the application.

-Danni

P.S. With the application you can fax it to directly to her office xxx-xxx-xxxx

Wed, Jun 29, 2011 at 12:40 PM
FROM: O DanniGirl
TO: traceYevidence
CC: Third Roommate
Subject: Apartment 7 cont.


Hey everyone!

So When I spoke to LandLady she was asked if we could get together this Saturday around 10am. Trace - I don't know if you're working that early/ ThirdRoommate I don't know when you're getting here. Let me know so we can get back to her.

-Danni

P.S. Holy Crap! This is happening!!!!!!!!

Danni's Doorstep: As Seen on TV...Not: Clean and Clear

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TV and Advertising are riddled with inaccuracies and some of them bug me more than others. One of the types of commercials that bugs me the most, are the face wash commercials. Really it’s only one part of the commercial that makes me angry and it’s the part where they splash the water in their face.

I’m sorry but there is no way that you can do that and not look like a drowned rat. I’ve tried!

What ever you’re wearing ends up getting soaked. Most of the time it’s your shirt but sometimes, depending on your enthusiasm, it can look like you’ve peed your pants. You always end up getting water all over the floor and generally you’ll need to blow dry your hair afterwards because it completely impossible to not get your hair wet when washing your face. Unless you’re wearing a shower cap but really, who where a shower cap when washing their face.

Below is what I believe to be the worst offender: Clean and Clear Morning Burst

Now this is nothing against the product it’s self. I use Clean and Clear products and I love them. But the commercial looks absolutely ridiculous. No one is that excited when washing their face and she didn’t have a speck of water on her clothes or hair.

Now I’m not saying the advertising companies have to make people covered in water in their commercials, but they could make it a little more realistic. Have their hair be a little wet and have them toweling off their face and looking refreshed. Or instead of having the girl afterwards in the same clothes as before look exactly the same except she more awake, have her dressed and ready for the day.

Have any of you ever been able to wash your face and not flood the bathroom?

Tracey’s Triangle: Coffee

I, like any upstanding North Easterner, drink coffee. I’ve had ‘coffee’ for as long as I can remember. Having been born and raised in Rhode Island, I fondly recall in elementary school “milk time.” The teacher aids would come in to the classroom with a milk crate with little milk cartons and -if your Mom gave you milk money- for 50 cents you could get in the line and buy one. There were inevitably 3 flavors: white, chocolate...and coffee. (Still to this day Autocrat coffee syrup adorns my refrigerator door.) Then throughout highschool when I could drive myself to school I would get up early and get –no matter what season- an Iced Coffee from good ole ‘Bess Eaton.’ And as an Adult where I work now there is a weekly –if not daily- Dunkin Run. This of course is in addition to the coffee pot that’s always on in the kitchen.

However if I’m honest with myself,
and to the world,
I don’t like it as much as I say I do.

Let me rephrase.
First, it never seems to taste as good as it smells,
but mostly because the proportions are never quite right.

Whether if I make it or someone else does there is such a fine line between

the bitter ‘Cowboys-sitting-around-a-fire-drinking-from-tin-cups-using-up-their-supply-of-100lbs-they-bought-at-the-beginning-of-the-Oregon-Trail-2’ coffee without enough sugar

and the sickeningly sweet 'Lollipops-Cherry pie-Cream puffs-Ice Cream-Treacle Tart-and-Allllll-Freeeeeee-Today’ coffee with so much sugar that you can taste the granular glop that pools at the bottom

that I am rarely happy.

So it shows a true addition when you keep coming back for more in hopes of that rare:
best-part-of-waking-up,
   time-to-make-the-donuts,
      good-to-the-last-drop,
         christ-is-the-answer,
            my-me-time,
               perfect cup-of-Jo(han).

It’s like a corner but with a T.

Convo Convoy – Donkey Kong

This is an ending of an argument during a very heated video game.

...

Tracey: Just Jump!

Danni: I CAN’T

Tracey: Run and press (2)

Danni: I AM. Listen, You are a cute little monkey with a jet pack. I-- am a large cumbersome gorilla!

This is now the appropriate reason and response to anything you can’t do.

Example 1.

“Parallel park there.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Listen, You are a cute little monkey with a jet pack and I-- am a large cumbersome gorilla!”

Example 2.

“Can you pass me the remote control?”

“No.”

“But you’re right there.

“I’M A Large Cumbersome Gorilla.”

Surf and Turf: Really Google, REALLY!?!

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Don’t you love when you know exactly what you’re looking for when you’re searching in Google and you are so specific that you know the thing that you want will pop up and then you get this:

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Really Google? I’m looking for that tampon commercial I see on TV and you’re suggesting the difference between traditional jazz and smooth jazz? I don’t even know what site in another language is about.  Or is Tanzania overly fertile and in need of tampons and a way of publically educating it’s people about them. Or are they just 97% cheerier than folks here?

Can someone explain this???

Tracey’s Triangle

 it’s like a corner, but with a T.

 This is where I can: write, vent, muse, comment, bedazzle- anything I want.

Today's Topic: DoorKnobs

I always seem to be the belt loop that inevitably gets stuck on the doorknob of life.

I mean this literally. I get stuck on doorknobs like all the time. Does this happen to anyone else?
Whether it be the beltloop, sweater sleeve, purse strap, cords of all kinds from laptop to extension, and if you’re in the festive mood Christmas lights, and many more… and every time it’s a surprise.
This jolt of WTF, pulling me back, I feel like it’s life telling me “uh-uh not so fast”.
That or my guardian angel has an awesome sense of humor ::I’m on to you, you beltloop fiend, so thanks::

Convo Convoy: Faxes

We started corresponding via email when we first started looking for apartments together. And apparently also because my phone died and I couldn’t text the information. Aaaaand email is a lot easier to pretend like you’re doing work at work; oh and not to mention they are a perfect saved written record of the type of conversations we have aaaalllllll the time.

It starts…

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 11:06 AMFROM: traceYevidence
TO: O DanniGirl
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: Fax

hey,

so my phone died. fun.
but I'm faxing my application over to you.
Let me know if you get it or not.

yay

-Tracey

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 11:13 AM
FROM: traceYevidence
TO: O DanniGirl
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

oh if you need to reach me you can use email
or just in case my personal work phone is xxx-xxx-xxxx

cheers

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 11:20 AM
FROM: O DanniGirl
TO: traceYevidence
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

Got your Fax! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woooooooo!

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 11:24 AM
FROM: traceYevidence
TO: O DanniGirl
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

sweeeeet.

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 12:43 PM
FROM: O DanniGirl :
TO: traceYevidence
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

Okay he has everything. I was wrong about the fee for the credit check you do need to pay $11.00 so I wrote checks out for that. Hopefully we will hear back soon. I am really hoping that the fact that we can't move in until July 15 won't be a problem.

-Danni

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 1:00 PM
FROM: traceYevidence
TO: O DanniGirl
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

ok yeah I'll give you cash -- or check whichever later today.

Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 1:08 PM
FROM: O DanniGirl :
TO: traceYevidence
CC: ThirdRoommate
Subject: RE: Fax

Whateva...foo'!